all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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