"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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