I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The best revenge is premature balding
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
