Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
