she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
whose ass print is on the piano?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
