Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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