Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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