i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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