He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
