PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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