yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You can't special order awesome
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The ass gains better be worth it
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