Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
