I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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