I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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