Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
