Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
