I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
