i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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