I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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