She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
