there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
