You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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