Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
