Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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