remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
