Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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