isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
