Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
