i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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