You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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