I want to stick my p in your. b.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
