you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
