I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My feet surprised me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
