i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
