She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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