I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She is in my trunk
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
