just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My ass is underappreciated
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
