I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
