what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im holly from the hills drunk
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
