Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
