I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
