All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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