She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
