Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
