So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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