the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is it because I queefed?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
