you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize