I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
