once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize