hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
