The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
