he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
