Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
