so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she looked like the before picture.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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