Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
