pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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