my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm at about main and main street
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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