i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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