never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
