you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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