Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
