Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
