It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
