Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
