her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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